Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Arbitrary Consumeristic Representation of a Romantic Holiday

*looks down* Hmm, I guess you can see that I needed more than three cups of coffee to wake me up this morning. I was just plain tired. I couldn't even type "Make-up". *sigh* Of course I also told someone to have a good evening at 11am and I answered a call like I was leaving a message. Thankfully, it was the same guy who just laughed his ass off at me.

I probably shouldn't even be drinking wine tonight. Obviously I need to get some serious sleep. The alarm will go off at 4:30am so that I can train for my upcoming marathon. Tomorrow morning will be yoga to work on my core strength. I am serious about completing this marathon, even if I have drag myself across the finish line using my elbows...but I'm sure it won't come to that.

General meandering chit-chat aside, I am a bit torn about what to write about. It has been quite a full day and a pseudo-holiday to boot. A part of me wants to talk about charities and the experience of one of my co-workers and another part of me wants to be traditional and talk about Valentine's day. *coin flip* Valentine's day it is.

I can only think of one time in my life when I wasn't alone for Valentines Day. It was last year and I did something memorable, but not romantic. I was more then willing to agree to not doing anything "Valentines-y" since I hoped that there would be many more to come. Call me a foolish dreamer.

I guess I should have pushed for more, but it didn't seem important at the time. To be honest, I am a very mushy person on the inside. I don't often let it out. In fact, most people don't actually know how emotional I really am because I am one of those people who doesn't typically wear their heart on their sleeve.

There have been times when I have quite literally been called an emotionless robot due to my ability to not react emotionally to most situations. If I'm comfortable, I'll let someone see me cry or if I am just so upset that I can't contain my emotions. Of course, this isn't getting to my point.

My point is, I am a mushy-gushy romantic - even if most people don't know it. I love that romantic stuff and my hate for Valentines Day stems from a lifetime of singledom on this romantic holiday. Of being made to wander aimlessly for hours around a city I didn't know well to give the people I was staying with time to have a nice romantic Valentines Day evening.

Yeah, the holiday hasn't been kind to me, but deep down, I still love it. I try to make a point of treating myself. Some wine, a nice dinner and a movie. This year it was Bride & Prejudice. Bollywood cross-over - awesome movie IMO.

And that is the tradition I have developed for myself. Occasionally I've gone out with other single girl friends to celebrate, but those days are long gone. Among most that I know, I am the last hold out. It kinda sucks to be a single hopeless romantic on a day dedicated to romance, but I've learned to cope.

Of course, I can dream. I can dream that one day I'll have someone who has a bit of romance. Someone to make me feel special everyday and not just on this pseudo-holiday. Someone who knows how nice it feels to be swept off your feet.

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