From Dawn till Dawn

My Saturday started at a much to early 6am. My friend was buying a treadmill that happened to be going on sale for $1400 off the original price. she wanted to make sure she was the first person at the store in the morning to make sure she got the one she wanted. So, I indulged her. Of course, I got breakfast out of the deal.

After she got the treadmill (and a new snow shovel!) we grabbed breaky and headed down to Best Buy, which was still closed. So we shopped instead. Winners and Old Navy. I got a new pair of jeans (much needed) and a lilac wool jacket which was on a surprising sale for only $15.

Then we went back to the mall for a few more items and found out that one of our favorite stores was having a sale. A great sale. Buy one sale item get the second sale item for $1. Who can turn that down?

So two tank tops, three t=shirts and a pair of stunning white jeans later. It's time for lunch and the one stop I actually wanted to make in the mall. I have metal allergies, but I hate spending a fortune on earrings. So i picked up some cute hypo allergenic earrings.

Then it was lunch and home! It had been quite the long day already. I was going to relax the rest of the evening. Make myself a nice dinner and pour a glass of wine. That was my plan. That's not what happened.

I went to the store, picked up the ingredients for my nice meal. I was going to marinate some lamb chops and then broil them and serve them with pan fried asparagus and a mashed turnips. I also saw that the store had some sweaters on sale. So I bought a few because the one thing I needed and didn't get was a sweater.

I get home, chill out with a movie as the lamb chops marinated when I get a text. I had to go see this band that was playing at a place on a block or so from where I live. So, of course, I went.

I dolled myself up in hopes that I may meet someone. I am working on my appearance so that I can really embody the idea of putting myself out there. I only had three drinks at the bar that I paid for, but a couple of nice ladies ended up sitting beside me.

We got to talking and we really enjoyed each others company. As the night wore on, I found out that they were a couple. And they kept buying rounds of drinks. Shot after shot. They were fun and fascinating and the music was incredible.

By the way, if you want to check out the talented musicians that spent the night entertaining us all. I saw Joe Nolan, Tyson Motsenbocker and Mike Edel. I highly recommend all them.

So, a great day, a great night and now it looks like I get to have marinated lamb chops for tonight's dinner instead. Although, I'm not much of a drinker. After a night like last night, I may just forgo the wine.

Holding Patterns

San Francisco is going to be on hold. I thought about and the more information I receive, the less likely it seemed. I can afford, but barely. I still want to go home some time this year and my BFF would to do Vegas for her birthday in October.

then the biggest realization. My best friend is having a baby. In March, we'll be having a baby shower for her and I want to get her the best damned present EVER. She deserves it. And since that falls between now and the proposed San Fran trip, one or the other needs to be sacrificed.

As much as I want to go on this trip and treat myself, the people I love will always come first in my life. She deserves better than me saying "Sorry, I can't get anything for my new little niece or nephew because I want to go to San Francisco for my birthday." Not happening.

I'll do it later, but for now I need to think up other options for my birthday. A part of me wants to do a spa day. Go to the spa, relax and pamper myself. Then take myself out for a super fancy expensive meal...maybe even a new dress and shoes. I want to get done up to the nines.

Of course, I'd be going out to dinner alone, but that would be a statement in itself right? I'm not afraid to be single. I am strong and confident. Still, I'd love to have someone to share it with. That would be nice.

Speaking of which. I am trying to take the advice of all my friends and put myself out there more. No more years between relationships. I need to give these guys a chance. At least one date...coffee or something.

Hey, I know at least that I've been loved once in my life. How lucky can I girl be?

No Go Mojo

I will be the first to admit that I don't live in the greatest neighborhood. Some of my neighbors themselves are highly questionable, but on the plus side, I pay very little for a very nice apartment right in in downtown. Just 4 blocks from work.

Now that I started with that. I was woken up shortly after 6am this morning by someone knocking on my door. One of my neighbors, someone I hadn't met yet, was the one doing the knocking. He said he needed to call 911 because there was a lady outside laying in the snow. He didn't have a phone.

Still groggy and half asleep, I dialled 911 and handed him my phone. I closed the door on him (for all I know he could have just taken off with my phone) and threw on some clothes and shoes to go see what the hell was going on. I was only half listening to what he was saying to the operator, but he wasn't making much sense to me.

He handed me back the phone when I came out of my apartment and I talked to the operator as I went outside to see what he was talking about. There was no one out there. The snow in the empty lot next to my building was barely even touched. I went back in and he insisted he had seen her from the back.

Wanting to make sure that there really wasn't anyone out there, I went out the back door and looked again. This time I could see a mark in the snow, he pointed at it, but it didn't look fresh and I didn't see a person. At his insistence I tromped down to look and once again, saw nothing.

So grumpy, my plans for sleeping in utterly ruined, I apologized the 911 operator for the disturbance and went back inside.

I had been looking forward to an active day of cleaning and reorganizing my apartment, doing some writing and getting some webdesign done. Instead, I was tired and cranky - my mojo for the day ruined.

I did get a few things done...and I am now in position of a couch. All I need is some real side tables and a coffee table and I have a full living room set up. Although it does feel a little crowded.

So now, will little done besides laundry, I'm going to bed at the god awfully early hour of 8pm. Because I am still cranky, still tired and my mojo is still all off. Tomorrow had best be a better day and if someone wakes me up, I just might have to take a baseball bat to them.

Personality +

I'm still waffling over San Fran. I want to go vs. I have better uses for that money. The need to just go is strong, but I still have to face reality.

I know that some of my closest friends - the ones that know my situation - are of the opinion that I'm being "stupid". Of course, as they will point out, I am prone to doing "stupid" things. They're good friends because they're honest with me. Besides, every now and then I am stupid with my money. It's what got me to my current financial situation.

Ah well, I'm sure I'll keep waffling about it until I actually make an irreversible decision. And even then I might wonder if the decision was the right one. Ah well, when I finally make a decision, you'll hear about it. For now the decision is to go to San Fran if I can pay for the ticket by the end of the month.

In other news, we did a 'team-building' exercise at work the other day. Personality profiles so that we can better understand our co-workers and how they react in situations. I was not in the least surprised by my results.

It was an interesting exercise to say the least and some people I was not the least surprised by their results. Of course, I'm not really sure how it'll help me get along better with my co-workers. Generally, when it comes to me, the less personal interaction the better. I'm not good with people.

Of course, that kind of came up in my personality profile. Emotional, but doesn't show it. Perfectionist. Appears unfriendly. No surprises there. Not to mention a need to know anything and a preference for working independently.

Okay, maybe I'm just tired, but I think I'm starting bore myself. Good night.

Thirty

Something has been on mind lately. I wanted to post about it a few days ago, but I just never got around to it for a few reasons. I'm not going to bother with the reasons here, but I will take the time to tell you about what has been on my mind.

In a few months I will be turning thirty. That's right, the big three-oh. Twenty-nine really wasn't a big deal for me. It was just another day that I spent like I've spent so many birthdays in my life. Alone. It's not that I don't have friends, but it's a fact that I have never made birthdays a priority for me.

I gave up really celebrating my birthday when I was 16. There was no sweet sixteen party for me. I had never really enjoyed the idea of birthday party beyond having fun and cake. So I limited my birthdays to a dinner out and gifts if my hand was forced. It was a mark of the years passing. That was all.

I didn't really think of it again until I turned twenty-seven. It was then I realized that I really couldn't be called young anymore. I had to face it, I was getting older and I had done nothing in my life - nothing at all. No job, no boyfriend, no place to call my own.

Now on the verge of thirty, I have to admit that things don't look much better beyond the job part. I do have a great job, but it's still just a job and not a career. And thirty is one of those milestone birthdays. It's one you want to make memorable.

It's not really the thought of getting older that bothers me. I don't feel older, so that isn't the issue. The issue is more that I am no where near where I would like to be at this age. At the very least, I wish I wasn't so damned alone.

I figure I can do only two things at this point. I can stay home - alone - and feel depressed or I can do something about it.

Okay, I'm not ready to go club some guy over the head and drag him back to my cave. Hell, I can't even focus on the dating sites to just get myself 'out there'. It's a tale for another day, but I'm really not good at serial monogamy. Monogamy yes, but one guy after the next? Not so much. I tend to leave gaps that are equivalent to years in my dating schedule.

But I am going to do something. I'm going to scare myself into enjoying my birthday. I'm going to take a vacation. On my own. Which, quite frankly, scares the bejesus out of me.

I'm thinking of going to San Francisco for four or five days. Just explore and have fun. Relax mostly. I'm not going to go wild or party like crazy. I'm not a party person - never have been, but I am going to forget that I'm thirty. Hell, I certainly don't look thirty!

There is only a few things holding my back. I do have better uses for that money. I really do. There are debts that still need to be paid and future plans to save for. Still, the draw is appealing. And a part of me wonders - I can do this? Can I really do this?

Of course, I could just end up depressed in San Francisco instead.....

Told You So....

See what happens when no one is challenging me to blog every day? I forget. I knew this would happen. On the other hand, I do keep trying to remember. I think about blogging, but I just never quite get around to it. kind of like checking my email when there are tasks I want to avoid.

I would like to tell you about a few things though. I would have told you yesterday except I didn't get home till close to midnight.

As a part of my focus for the year, I am trying to work on getting in shape. To facilitate this, the Superstore across the street is renovating and, thus, clearing out a lot of stock to make it easier. Some of these things happen to be exercise equipment. So I now have some resistance bands, an exercise ball and a nice leather jump rope with weighted handles.

I tried to jump rope today and discovered that even if I keep a beat, I cannot jump for a full consecutive 60 seconds. Seriously. I am fail. I'll get better though. I would like to get back into the habit of exercising at least 3-4 mornings a week.

Now all I need to do is load some GOOD music on to my ipod. Right now, it's just a bunch of random songs. What I need is some good exercise music - something to keep me going. Something upbeat - because I love something that makes me feel like dancing first thing in the morning.

The other thing I wanted to write about was ice fishing. WAIT! Don't go. It's a good story. I promise. Yesterday I went out ice fishing. In a blizzard. Yes, you read that right. In a blizzard and I had fun - even though the fish weren't biting.

My buddy called me to say that he and his friend had finished building the shack and it was up on the lake if I wanted to go. With nothing else besides cleaning house that needed to be done, I said yes. The blizzard wasn't even a consideration.

When he showed up in his little Mazda3, I was a little surprised. No truck, and we were supposed to be driving out onto the lake? Sure enough, we made it out to the shack without too much of a problem. Unfortunately, the shack was not as originally advertised.

The friend of my buddy had told us that he had some plywood for the siding, but he didn't. And since my buddy had already spent enough money on other more important things he just decided that the easiest thing to do would be to make the walls out of tarp. That's right. Tarps for walls.

To be honest, with the propane heater in there, it was pretty darned cozy. Other than one interruption by the fisheries officer to check our licenses, it was great. Although the door didn't want to stay closed properly in the heavy wind.

At one point when it opened, there was no differentiating between land and sky. Everything was the same all consuming white. It was pretty darned amazing and made us feel pretty isolated, even though we knew that there were other shacks not that far away.

Eventually the wind picked up more and a chill began to seep in despite our heater. We called it a night and headed back to the car. The only problem after that was that the wind had picked up, which meant more blowing snow, which meant worse visibility.

We couldn't find the ramp that we had originally used to access the lake and so we had to searching for another one much further down the lake that we knew had a good landmark for orientation if we could get close enough to be able to see the landmark - a lighthouse.

We almost got stuck once out on the lake, but we manage to get out of it and we did find the lighthouse. It took us longer than we expected and with no landmarks and poor visibility, getting lost out there was a very real possibility.

Just as we were almost off the ice and on the ramp, we hit a drift that we hadn't been able to see in the weather. It was over the bumper of the car and we got stuck for the first and only time.

Thankfully, we had the shovel and we began to dig ourselves out of the drift after a failed initial attempt to rock the car out. We were pretty much done shovelling when a kind stranger stopped and helped us finish pushing the car out of the drift. Although, he did admit that we would have had it without his help.

So that is my ice fishing story. I prolly won't get to go out for another couple of weeks, but I am looking forward to it. And that, my friends, is what you have missed.

Another Step Forward

I made another step forward on one of my life list goals. It's not one I've posted yet, but I made a step towards achieving it today. It was a a slightly faltering step, but that's okay. I got pointed in the right direction.

Wondering what goal I've made a step towards? Well it's not one of the ones listed below either. I'll get to it - until then you'll just have to keep guessing what goal it is!

13. Swim with Sharks

I know someone who has done this and they made me long for the experience. It would be incredible to see a shark without the glass between us, but a few bars for safety are more than welcome if that’s the deal.

14. Learn to Surf

Ideally, it would be cool to do this in Hawaii, but I will learn it anytime the opportunity comes up. We won’t mention that I can barely balance on a skateboard.

15. Go Scuba Diving

This has a preferable location as well – any reef anywhere. I want to see the corals and tropical fish in their natural habitat. I want to swim with the fishies.

16. Visit a Volcano

Qualifier, it has to be an active volcano. I want to not just see it from a distance, but I want to go right up on it. Now that would be something to write home about.

17. Travel Europe

I should have done the stupid college kid thing and saved up to backpack Europe. I didn’t, but I still want to go. I don’t have to backpack, but I do want to see it. By train or bus, and not just the cities.

18. Spend (at least) a Week At Sea

I suppose a cruise would count, but maybe something a little less comfy and with less landing points. It really doesn’t count if we make port every few days for sightseeing. I’m talking about a week at sea with no port calls until that week is over.

Writers Block

Tell someone that you're a writer and they are bound to say something about it. Tell them you have writers block and they will often give you suggestions and advice on how to beat it. There are dozens of solutions, but sadly I spent the day stuck.

When I write a story, I visualize it first. I run it through my mind like a movie. I edit and correct as I go and when I think I have a basic idea of what happens, I write my outline.

I know the story I'm working on, but the problem is, perhaps, that I've known the story for too long. I've been wanting to write it for years and I had one failed attempt. I know I need to rework the story to make it right, but I think that I might be holding on to the old story too much.

Last time I had it start with the assassination - the writing in the first chapter or two was stilted and awkward. So I decided to start after the assassination this time, but now I don't quite seem to be able to start it right.

*sigh* I even tried my favorite writers block solution - having a shower. Still no luck. Now I need to go to bed so that I can go to work tomorrow. I plan to get up early and do some dishes (that I neglected again today) and some exercise and, if there is still time, some writing.

Maybe I good night sleep will do the trick. If it doesn't, then maybe I'll need a few suggestions on how to unblock my mind.

And we begin

By the time I got home yesterday it was after midnight and I thought about posting and decided against it. I was also going to post earlier today and decided against that too. So late post and sorry about missing another day.

I have some good news to to report. I have started working on my WriYe challenge today. I haven't done as much as I would have liked, but I have tomorrow off and I'll be working more on it then.

It took me awhile to decide what I was going to work on, but I finally decided to work on what is currently named the Eve Trilogy. The first book is one that I tried to write for my first NaNoWriMo and failed at. I'm reworking the characters and plot and I'm hoping to make this one work.

Tomorrow I start in on my other year long challenges as well as cleaning my apartment. I never know how this place manages to look worse when I'm not here than when I am. How does that work?

I do hope everyone has had a decent start to 2011. I'm certainly not complaining about mine.