Sunday, February 12, 2012

My Confession

I have a confession to make. It's not something I say often or tell many people.

I am a romantic

I know it doesn't seem like much, but I've always put on a tough act. I've never been much of a girlie girl. I don't even like for people to see me cry. Even my best friend of over 18 years has rarely seen my cry. I've been taking care of myself for a long time and it has made me a little hard. Cynical is a word I often hear used to describe me.

And I am a cynic. I don't like or trust most people. I often expect the worst of people while secretly hoping I'll be wrong. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Despite all of that, I believe in a love that can last forever. Even if you have to work at it sometimes, but it's worth it. It's worth it because the other person means that much.

My grandparents met on a blind date and were married 6 months later. They spent the rest of their lives together. It was pure chance that they were both in Vancouver. They got lucky.

Even my own sister seems to have found her perfect match. A romance that spanned halfway across the world with her in England and him in California. The distance was no obstacle to them. They found a way to make it work.

Sometimes it feels silly that I'm waiting for something like that. The romantic in me insists that this is what I need to do. To wait for this great love. Although I often feel sad that I'm still waiting. Waiting and hoping for something that may never come.

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