Today I was stumbling as I often do when I can't think of anything better to do. In other words, I want to write, but lack the motivation. Which happens a lot lately, but I digress. I was stumbling and found this quote by Neil Gaiman that I find myself in almost total agreement with.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
As someone who tends to keep people at an arms length, I really understand exactly where he is coming from. Once I let someone in I am much more vulnerable than I would ever let on.
It's something to remember. Sometimes, the people you think are the strongest are just the ones that are good at building walls. You may not know those walls are there because they may never show you....and when they hurt, you may never know it either, but that hurt is going to be so much deeper because they're not used to being hurt.
What I disagree with is the "I hate love". I hate what love can do to a person when things go wrong, but love itself is not something to be hated. It's just something to approached ever so cautiously...and the more one is hurt, the more cautiously it is approached.