1000 views - thank you.

It may not seem like much for most blog writers, but I'm not exactly the kind of blog a lot of people follow. I don't post a lot, I don't have a set subject, I'm not particularly funny and I don't promote my blog. All of that adds up to a blog that only my mother would read....if I had told her I had a blog.

Still, after a year and a quarter of blogging, I've finally hit over a 1000 views. My most popular post being 2012. And I think that just might have something to do with the name of it and less about the actually content.

I'm still trying to find my blogging feet and I'm particularly thankful to those people who actually do read what I have to say. I'm sure I might even have some semi-regular readers out there - so thank you for reading.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled web browsing.

30 - Almost 1/2 way

It's been a little while since I've posted anything here and I do feel very negligent. However, for the last week, I have a very good excuse for not doing any blogging. Heck, if it hadn't been for my phone there would have been no facebook either.

Last week my sister flew out to spend some time with me, but mostly with my best friend and her son, our nephew, who also drove out at the same time. I took the week off of work so that I could spend as much time as possible with them.

Unfortunately, my best friend also brought a highly contagious stomach flu with her from Saskatchewan. With few exceptions, she managed to infect all her friends including me and my sister.

Sometime between the stomach flu and my recovery, I passed the 30 lbs gone mark. I'm just a little over 30 lbs gone at the moment and looking at the 1/2 way point. I can almost taste the little victory that awaits me. I've got just a hair over 4lbs to go to get there, but that isn't much. 2 - 3 weeks sees me there.

To be honest I had hoped to hit the 1/2 way mark a little earlier. I'm about a month behind where I wanted to be, but I'm down on myself about that. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy. There would be setbacks and if the worst I can say is that I am about a month behind schedule - that ain't so bad.

You know, when I started, I was determined to lose all this excess weight, but I think there was still this small part of me that didn't quite believe I could do it. I couldn't imagine being able to say that I had lost more than 10 or 20 lbs. I've never managed to lose weight like this before so I must be doing something right this time.

It's a really good feeling - you know? I think just being able to say that I've done it helps me feel like the next 30 lbs is entirely possible.

I'm still just taking it milestone, but milestone. The 1/2 way mark is the next one and the one after that is 40lbs, then hitting below 200 lbs. I think it helps to give myself those small goals to focus on. The big picture is still too big to look at.

Lost: Creativity

As silly as this may sound, I seem to have some sort of writers block that is even stretching it's way to my blog. I want to write something, I sit down to write and nothing comes out.

Yesterday I sat down to work on some flash fiction. After two hours, all I got was a bit of flash of under 100 words. Not that it wasn't good, but it was a struggle. I hate being blocked like this. And it doesn't even feel like block, not really. I just feel like I have no creativity left in me. I'm drained.

I have to tell you that this not a very nice feeling. In fact, it's frustrating. All I want to do is write and I'm getting nothing. Just nothing.

Does anyone know where my creativity went? I may even offer a reward if it is found and returned to me in the same condition.

Heck if it wasn't for the wonderfully talented The Capillary encouraging me, I would never have managed to crank out at least one short story.(read it here).

So, I repeat, please help me find where my creativity went.

Old Habits Die Hard

As some of you may have noticed, I haven't had a whole lot to say lately. Most of my effort has been going into re-adjusting my "diet" and attitude since I stopped counting calories. It has been an interesting two weeks since I stopped.

When I decided to stop counting my calories I was thinking that I had been doing this "diet" since November and I ought to have a pretty good idea on what I'm eating. Sure I still had days where I ate a little over, but I usually made up for those days with extra exercise. I was sure that the experiment would be a success.

At the end of the first week I had gained a pound. I know, it's not much to be worried about, but I had spiked higher than that during the week. It was enough to know I could more than likely maintain without counting, but what about losing? I still wanted to get rid of a lot of weight. I decided to give it one more week.

During this week, I was concerned as my weight climbed to almost four lbs over my last recorded loss. I felt terrible, this wasn't going to work at all. Not only could I not get rid of my weight without counting my calories, I was even failing at maintaining.

Instead of giving up, I stepped back and thought about where I might have gone wrong over the last week and a bit. Had I allowed old habits of eating to sneak back into my current life? Maybe it was just a simple case of underestimating my calorie intake? Whatever it was, I was determined to figure it out and fix it.

I came to the realization, that even though I had altered what I was eating to fit my calorie count, I hadn't actually altered my eating habits. I am a snacker. If food is in front of me, I will eat it - even if I'm not hungry. When I'm hungry - I'm hungry and I feel like I need to eat now, so once again, I'd snack. Even right before a meal.

All of this was behaviour that was reduced through the guilt of not wanting to go over my calorie count or the fact that I'd leave an open bag of celery on my desk for the afternoon. I managed it because of the calorie counting, but I hadn't actually dealt with it.

So I spent some time looking up ways to stop my "hunger" cravings that really had nothing to do with hunger. Or at least, things that held my actual hunger off for a few minutes while I prepared a healthier meal. I needed to cut those extra calories that I had unknowingly added to my diet.

The suggestions I decided to go with was more water and more fibre. I already drank about 2 litres a day, but a bit more couldn't hurt. I could definitely use more fibre in my diet, so that was something that I should probably add anyway. So I started with taking a couple of fibre pills between meal time and snack time. I doubled my water intake and sure enough, the weight started dropping.

It was an interesting experiment and one that I am going to continue with for another week at least. I even have another good suggestion to help with the hunger cravings when I'm not actually hungry. Vegetable broth. 20 calories per cup (give or take) and it could be a nice pre-dinner snack.

I may still be snacking, but at least I am more aware of the issue and I am finding ways that I can take care of it. I'm also trying to take more time to think "am I really hungry?". The answer isn't always yet, but taking that time to think about it is one of the things that is helping the most and will continue to help in the future.

11 Things

I thought I ought to jump on this as soon as I read it. Although I don't have 11 people to tag and pass this on to. :( Kind of sad to think that I don't know enough bloggers/not enough people read this blog for that to be the case. Still, I rise to a challenge...even if it's just being tagged to answer some questions.

1. What's your pipe dream/dream career?
I wanted to go into politics and become the Prime Minister. Not going to happen, but it was either that or be an astronaut (also not going to happen).

2. What do you fear more? Dying or public speaking?
Dying. Public speaking may still give me pause, but I know I can do it - no matter how large the crowd - so long as I practice and prepare. Dying is something most people only get to do once and no one can really tell you what comes after.

3. If you could be one hero's side kick, who would it be?
Wow, this was a toughie. Lotes of heros that I like, but I'm not sure I want to be their sidekick! I always found Cloak and Dagger fascinating, but they're a duo so I doubt that would count.

4. What character archetype do you find yourself drawn to most?
The Unwilling Hero. What can I say, I find the story of a character rising to the challenges that life throws his/her way an incredible story.

5. If funds were not an issue, what cosmetic alteration would you get on a continuous basis? ie. fake nails, hair extensions, laser hair removal, liposuction, etc
Laser hair removal and fake nails. I'm not much for cosmetic alteration, but those are something I would do without batting an eye. I have ugly thin stupid nails and I hate shaving. Two problems solved.

6. Do you need a playlist or a song to inspire you?
No, but I can find them inspiring. I do however use music to get my pumped up to go (ENREGIZE!)

7. What is your go-to fandom?
I can't really say that I have any.

8. Wine or beer?
Wine because, sadly, beer is no longer an option for me. Actually wine would have still won before, but beer would have least been in the running.

9. Rum or Gin?
Rum all the way. Rum and coke, white rum added to a shirley temple....I choose rum.

10. What are your 3 essential things you need when you're trying to be creative.
Something to drink. Something to munch on and a quiet head.

11. Buffy or Bella?
Buffy. Seriosuly. Better role model.